Max

 

My dear little dachshund boy died recently and despite my work with beings on the other side, it still hurts and I still have to grieve deeply just like everyone I know who loses a pet.  I've been focusing a fair amount on him and how he’s doing postmortem and I’ll share it here.  The initial imagery I got when I checked in a few days after his passing was of little cherub-like creatures bouncing around and flittering in the air.  Made me think of fireflies.  I didn’t really care if the images were from him or just made up by me, they made me happy and that’s what I needed right then. 

Max has always been clearly aware of what I need.  He came with me when I went to work at my healing clinic and he’d nestle himself under the massage table and ground the energy as I worked on clients.  He always sat with me on the couch when I watched tv winding down after long days.  If I was extra sad, he’d put his head in my lap or nudge into my side.  This continued even as he got closer to death and had numerous physical issues including blindness and dementia. I often felt lacking in my ability to communicate with him, since I was consistently successful with other people’s pets.  I think half of the reason behind that lack was my tendency to get in my own way, since I was so often extra worried about him.  But I think there was more to it than that. Perhaps another block was because he was suffering from a brain tumor and so images didn’t come through easily.  However, I’ve worked with other animals with such in-capacities, and I always get some kind of imagery, even if it is rather hallucinogenic.  Not so with Max.  I think, finally, that he just may well have been a very private being and didn’t really want to share on that level. 

Now that Max has passed, however, I’m getting lots of pictures and words from him.  Perhaps I’m out of my way, and perhaps he’s more willing to give me the straight poop!  Lately, he’s been talking about how he’s hanging out with someone he loves.  That makes me feel good, of course, because it’s nice to think that there are other people and animals on the other side you get to meet up with when you die.  But in this case, when I asked if this was another dog, he told me no.  It was a human.  And I was holding this picture of who might be so important to Max that was part of the spirit world. It still didn’t feel quite right.  Then I got it.  This was a human Max knew before he came to us and that human is still alive.  He’s a young man and Max is visiting him.  I wonder if that man can feel Max’s presence. 

When my wife Sylvia and I rescued Max, he came with little to no information in regards to his origins.  He was not particularly friendly to other dogs and so had clearly not been well socialized.  He was also pretty uncomfortable with cuddles and being talked to, so we made some assumptions that he wasn’t treated that well before he came to us, and we didn’t really think much of the humans from his earlier life.  Now I know that there is someone Max loved very much, no matter how he was treated.  Dogs have a whole different set of reasons for who they open their hearts to.  I’m slowly but surely learning the depth and breadth of their expression of love. 

I have a wonderful group of friends that meet regularly for an event we call Tea and Tarot.  We all ask questions and give each other readings.  It is a lovely social event that goes deep.  My favorite kind of party!  Using my wonderful Dachshund tarot deck (given to me by my friend Jamie), just a week after Max died, my friend Miriam did a reading to connect with Max after his death.  I’ve included a picture of the reading’s four cards.  The first is the Magician.  This is Max showing me how lovely and perfect his transition was. For us, of course, it was quite traumatic.  Next is the Wheel of Fortune.  It speaks of the ups and downs of his last year here and how hard it was for all of us, but it’s saying that now everything is going to be alright.  The third card is the 6 of Cups which speaks of old memories and nostalgia and encourages us to forgive ourselves for those things we still feel bad about and instead, grow and heal from our memories and honor all that went before and all those beings we have loved deeply.  It’s such a great card to see after the death of a beloved pet.  In my life, I have so many events I regret where I wasn’t patient or thoughtful with my furred friends and I tend to dwell on those remembrances rather than the soft and loving moments we had together.  Of course Max would send me this reminder and encouragement.  Finally, a card came up that wasn’t marked at all.  Just a strange part of the deck, I'd never seen before.  It shows an older dog kissing on a younger one with fireflies above it’s head.  Fireflies!  Like the little bouncy images I saw when I first tried to make contact with Max’s spirit.  What a lovely acknowledgement that what I saw was real!